A giant panda goes into one of those expensive and pretentious restaurants serving French/Asian fusion cuisine and takes a table for one. The surprised waiter for that table explains unctuously that his name is Marcel, he will be your server tonight, and we 'ave a number of specials (he is French), etc., etc.

The panda listens impassively to the list of $27 chili-pepper encrusted swordfish specials and so on, and then orders a delicately flavored dish of young bamboo tips and mixed greenery served with steamed jasmine rice. On finishing his meal, the panda gets up, reaches into his fur for a handgun, brings down the waiter with one shot, and calmly heads for the door.

The head waiter is near the door and exclaims in shock, "Oh, monsieur, what 'ave you done? You 'ave killed Marcel! Why 'ave you done zis, monsieur? You 'ad some problem? Ze service was not acceptable?"

The panda scowls at him and says, "I'm a fucking panda. Go look it up." He stalks out into the night.

The baffled staff huddle round the compact encyclopedic dictionary that they keep on the premises, and turning to Panda, giant, they read this:

Panda, giant. Large bear-like animal, Ailuropoda melanoleuca, with distinctive black and white markings, related to raccoon family. Rare; found only in bamboo forests of Tibet and western China. Eats shoots and leaves.
Geoffrey K. Pullum

"Here is a journalistic joke recounted by Gypsy da Silva, the legendary copy editor at Simon & Schuster. Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, a reporter is issued a harp and wings by St. Peter. But the journalist wonders why the wings are on the small side. "Wing size is determined by the amount of abuse you have had to take in your lifetime," St. Peter says. "See these tiny butterfly wings? I give these to publishers, who take hardly any abuse from anybody." When the reporter pointed to a pair of wings with the spread of a condor, the heavenly gatekeeper said, "Those are for night editors." Suddenly a roar could be heard from a huge jumbo jet approaching, and St. Peter said, "Duck -- here comes a copy editor."

William Safire. Cherry-Picking