[Songs in the Key of Middle C] Disney to Pluto: The Jig Is Up
Go Dog Some Other Cartoon Universe!
Aug 24, 2006
In a development that surprised few insiders but has upset fans around the world, The Walt Disney Corporation announced they no longer consider Pluto a dog. The decision follows the International Astronomers Union's (IAU) successful move to declassify Pluto as the ninth planet of the solar system.

Pluto's acceptance as a planet, in 1930, has been controversial ever since. Its discoverer, Clyde Tombaugh, reputedly sought support from Disney to market Pluto, raising popular awareness and acceptance for the discovery.

Although the Disney Corporation has denied any affiliation with Tombaugh, they introduced Pluto in their 1930 release, The Chain Gang. Various risky choices, such as Pluto's quadripedal stance, led some critics to wonder if Disney was divided internally over the campaign. Contemporary astronomers, eager to appease a Depression-era public, bent to the public's moderate awareness of the character, and certified Pluto as the ninth planet.

The move remained controversial. To mitigate exposure to a potential backlash, Disney introduced a bipedal alternate, Goofy, in the 1932 film Mickey's Revue. To appease hard-liners, Goofy was disguised in the film, a barrier he hurdled by devising a unique laugh. The considerable response to Goofy's work gave him unexpected prominence and political power. His trademark laugh is still recognized around the world today.

The battle within Disney continued. Unconfirmed sources suggest that the IAU were contacted shortly after Clyde Tombaugh's death in 1997 by a key Disney insider. A damaged, partial recording of the call survived a flash flood at IAU's Pluto archives, situated at the Palomar Observatory. The undamaged portion contains a repeated sound which voice experts describe as a drunken hillbilly trying to throw up a jackball.

The IAU moved slowly, agreeing only this year to de-classify Pluto. Once advised of the change, Disney responded with their own statement a day later. Unnamed sources again suggest that executives were eager to rid themselves of an insightly connection: in this case, that the company had run a marketing campaign that had not, in 75 years, generated a massive company profit.


I think you're fucking Goofy! You know, in a nice kind of way.
Bet you're not wishing now that you could write like this. :P


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